I recently noticed that I hadn't posted anything in over two months. I had absolutely no inspiration to write and wanted to share why.
When Hubby and I first got married we decided together that working was not a necessity for me and that it would be preferable if I didn’t work at all. However, the world has a different idea of what a wife should be and do. I began to feel ashamed of myself when others, inside and outside the military, would ask me if I had a job. At first I would sheepishly say that no, I did not work outside of the home. The next question (and a completely different topic for another time), since I didn’t have a job, I must have kids, right? No, kids are not in the plan right now. This would inevitably be followed by a look of disgust or pity and a quick change in the direction of the conversation.
There were a few times when I felt confident enough, or maybe just a little feisty, to proudly say that no, I don't have a full time job. My husband is a Marine and we have moved four times in the two years that we have been married. But sometimes I felt that I should be doing something more purposeful with my life. After all, most people that I talked to seemed to think that my “happy housewife” life was a ridiculous waste of time.
So, right after our move to our current duty station, I became one of the millions looking for a job and was one of the "fortunate" that found one...very easily. I was at work in my 8-5 desk job before the boxes were even unpacked in our new home.
I lasted 3.5 months before I literally couldn't stand another day. I hated wasting the time that Hubby is not deployed with me sitting behind a desk for 40 hours a week. My house was a mess, I heated frozen food for dinner, and I rarely had time to work out (something I LOVE to do). I cried several times while at work and came home in a terrible mood almost every day. Walking out of my office on my last day was one of the happiest days of my life.
God has not called me to be a career woman. I feel confident enough in the role that He has given me…to be married to a truly amazing man who is selflessly serving our country. My job is to be by his side through everything, to encourage him through the difficult times, and to provide a loving household as an escape from the realities of his dangerous job.
This is me fighting back at the world. I will not feel guilty or ashamed any longer at not spending my days the way the world thinks I should. God has called each of us to a special and unique place and season of life. Embrace that calling, don’t be ashamed of it as I was, and be the best ________ you have been called to be!