It started out innocently enough. I was feeling a little lonely. The opportunities presented themselves, and I bit. One date turned into 2, which eventually multiplied to about 10. I was in over my head before I knew it.
Now, before you get the wrong idea, I am talking about activities and busyness. When we first moved to Corpus Christi, I knew absolutely nobody. Coming from a place where I had a ton of other wives around to provide all varieties of fellowship and entertainment, this was quite a bit different.
So my first decision in Corpus Christi was to get involved. I came across a great organization on base and began volunteering about 10 hours each week. By that time I had made a few Christian friends, and we decided to get together for a weekly Bible study and prayer group. Then came the launch of this website. Next came a request from a dear friend from our previous duty station asking me to help contribute to a Christian military spouse website that she is developing. During this time, I joined two book clubs. The next day Hubby came home from work announcing that he had signed us up to be soccer coaches for the youth league on base. After that, I returned from my "I-can't-move-states-again-and-continue-this-work-at-home-job" sabbatical, working about 10-20 hours each week. Then came a request from our church pastor asking if I would help teach the 4 year olds at church on Wednesday evenings. Mix in a few dinners, outings with friends, and of course the military, and that has been my life in a nutshell for the past several months.
I about had a meltdown last week. I was literally drowning in my involvement and activities. I had run out of time to do anything other than the ten activities and commitments on my list.
I had convinced myself that I was doing all of this for the advancement of God's kingdom. Even the "non-Christian" activities I still felt were an important means to reach out to those that don't know the love of Christ.
"As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!' ‘Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her'" (Luke 10:38-42).
Jesus is right in front of me, and instead of basking in His glory, I am too distracted by the amount of tasks on my list. Mary had the right idea...drop everything, sit at our Lord's feet, and listen to what He has to say to us. I, too, will choose what is better.
In the midst of my meltdown, my godly husband asked me when the last time was that I had sat down to a personal quiet time, just me and God. I couldn't remember, and therein is the problem. I was not spending time alone with my God. What good am I to declare God's love for the world if I am not even embracing it?
My hubby helped me to make a list of my involvement, to rank their priority in my life, and begin to cut back on activities based on my list. Only with his help was I able to separate the things I had reluctantly said "yes" to from those that I am truly passionate about.
This will be my first week with my reduced work load. Honestly, my pride is still suffering from admitting that I really can't do it all, but I am so looking forward to being back in communion with my Holy Father.
Remember, "Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Choose to be a Mary, and choose to fall at the feet of Jesus.