August 3, 2009

10/9/08 Armageddon birthday...

My quarter-of-a-century birthday started as any usual day-me not wanting to get out of bed, Hubby's flight getting cancelled. You know...the usual. But even though Hubby's flight was cancelled and he was at home, I decided to proceed with my day as planned, not knowing that my birthday would turn into Armageddon.

My first mission of the day was to go to the NEX to pick up a few items. I was accosted by a manager blocking my path to my usual checkout lane, telling me very rudely that I couldn't check out there. I told him how rude he was and then proceeded to the front of the store where I could check out. I began to think that I should have put on a birthday tiara before I walked out the door so people could try to be on their best behavior around the birthday girl.

After that a friend came over to my house and we left in my car to go on our shopping errands. We began talking about anything and everything, including how disgusted we were with animal cruelty. In mid sentence, I spotted a dove, the universal symbol of peace, in the middle of the freeway on-ramp. I had zero time to even think about braking. There was a huge thud, followed by a poof of feathers flying at my windshield. Anyone who really knows me knows how much I hate birds, but I would never wish this, especially for a heavenly dove to have to die such a tragic death.

After a few moments of stunned silence by the two culprits in the car, we repented of our dreadful sin and moved on with life. At our second and final store of our shopping journey, we were met with huge lines at the checkout. All of us in line waited in eager anticipation for the next summoning. A lady behind us in line tried to walk around me to get closer to the front. "Excuse me," I said. "We're next in line." That's when all hell broke lose.

This woman and her Halloween decorations (I'm sure they must have been little demons she was holding) proceeded to yell at me right there in the checkout line. "Which line do you want?! You have to pick one!"

"Does it really matter? I'm the next one in the line. I should be able to go to the next available register."

Not so, according to the demon woman. I hesitantly obliged her and picked a line. After all, I was trying to be the epitome of kindness and graciousness in front of my Bible study friend. But the whole time I was watching the demon woman from the corner of my eye, praying that I would still make it out of the store before her just to prove my point that I was in line first, and I should be the one to check out first. Thankfully, I did finish before her, but I could have sworn I heard the shrieking violins of the horror movies announcing the inevitable knife chase. Fortunately that was all in my head. Goodness, does the Lord still have work to do in me or what?!

After the shopping errands and a tear-jerker movie with some friends, I rushed home to the safety of my house and my husband. I cried (yes, I do this a lot) for all the day's events...the rude manager, the dove, the demon woman, and the movie. As I was letting lose my flood of emotion, Puppy began barking at something outside. I looked in our backyard and saw the entirety of our white picket fence covered in black ravens. I couldn't help but think that they had been sent from the other side to avenge the death of their little dove friend.

The ravens were the last of my birthday from hell, and the evening quickly turned into a heavenly respite. The day went from mean people and scary birds to a wonderful evening with my husband, soccer practice with the cutest little kids ever, walking our little baby, and of course a presidential debate! *Sigh of contentment!*

If my birthday is any indication of what my 25th year will bring, all I can say is I'm glad it will end with a big smile on my face. :)

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