Month of the Military Child...

April has been designated the "Month of the Military Child."  (Click here for more information.) 

I have spent all month thinking about how military children should be honored and celebrated throughout the year.  Besides the obvious, I have been mostly at a loss.  How do you support children who, while facing similar battles, are simultaneously fighting very individual battles?  In their world of inconsistency and uncertainty, what can I really do for military children to help them through a sometimes very difficult life? 

And then it came to me.  More than being sensitive to the life experiences of military children, more than hugs and words of encouragement, military children need prayer.

For what should I specifically pray for military children?  This is the question that I've been struggling with all month.  The only thing that was strongly put on my heart was to pray for a loving home for military children.  A loving home can heal the hurts that the military places on our innocent children (who didn't "know what they were signing up for").  The stability that a loving home provides can allow military children to flourish when their families are separated or when their lives are uprooted by a PCS. 

Nothing dramatic.  Nothing profound.  Just a simple prayer to the God of Love to bless our military children with the loving homes that they deserve. 

Stacks of maps...

Periodically, Hubby has stacks and stacks of maps that he has to throw out.  I can't stand to see this beautiful paper tossed in the trash, so I have adopted the paper for my equally periodic creativity.   

I love to use his old maps as wrapping paper!

Cute, huh?!

What would you do with a stack of maps?  Please help me with some ideas to use this paper!

This painful life...

I had just turned onto my street after finishing my afternoon run with Baby and Big Puppy when I noticed my phone, securely placed in the stroller's cup holder for use in case of an emergency, lighting up with messages. I waited until my peaceful outing was over and I was back inside my house of chaos before allowing myself to be bombarded by phone messages and news alerts.

If I had any inclination of what news my phone would bring me, I would have been much quicker to return those phone calls and look at the news alerts. Or maybe I wouldn't have. Maybe I would have allowed myself to stay in my post-run euphoric peacefulness and spend the rest of the afternoon in total ignorant bliss until Hubby arrived home.

Through a series of of phone calls from friends and family here and hundreds of miles away and news channel phone apps, I was made aware of a terrible accident that had taken place almost literally in my own backyard. Two had been killed in the accident. Two had been killed doing the same thing that Hubby had walked out the door earlier that morning to do.

I felt my chest being crushed under the weight of devastating possibility. I tried calling Hubby. Instant voicemail. His phone was off. I frantically looked through his schedule, cursing myself for not having paid closer attention to what he had told me the night before. Hubby was scheduled to fly close to the same time the accident had happened. Panic. Fear. Extreme pain. I didn't know who to call or what to do.

I just picked up Baby and held him close. I paced my house sobbing and calling on God. I couldn't even muster a coherent prayer, only "Please, God" over and over. I kept glancing out my front windows hoping that the next car I saw out front would be Hubby's and not an unknown officer's.

Agony for almost three hours.

When I saw Hubby's truck pull into our driveway, I had never felt more relief. I met him at the door, still holding Baby tightly.

He walked through the door. Then he held me and Baby.

The military life is a very painful one. We are constantly surrounded by hurting people, and many times we feel the pain in our own home. Separations due to deployments, detachments, and death bring silent tears to those that left and those that were left behind. Military families all over the world are in pain and hurting. I have no answers and can offer little comfort.

But my God can offer all of the comfort we will ever need. Lean on Him. Trust in His will. Love Him. That's the only way I know to get through this kind of pain. Pray for God's comfort. Pray for our military families. Pray for your family.

"In my distress I called to the LORD;

I cried to my God for help.

From his temple he heard my voice;

my cry came before him, into his ears." -Psalm 18:6

A Study of Jesus' Life, Part 4...

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." -Philippians 2:5-11.

Jesus Calms the Storm: Matthew 8:23-27, Mark 4:36-41, Luke 8:22-25

• Jesus remained calm in adversity (Matt. 8:23, 26).  He didn't panic.  He didn't worry.    
• Jesus considered the disciples' worry a lack of faith (Matt. 8:26).  "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"  Ouch.  Not only did Jesus not worry during the storm, he rebuked those that did (the disciples) when their Savior was right there with them.  He is right to chastise us for our shallow faith when he is riding in the boat with us.

Jesus Heals a Paralytic: Matthew 9:1-8, Mark 2:14-17, Luke 5:27-32

• Jesus demonstrated faith (Matt. 9:2) and works (Matt. 9:6)--faith that the man's sins were forgiven; works by healing the man.  In our own lives, works alone will not save us, but works should be part of the outward manifestation of our salvation.  Jesus combined faith and works. 

The Calling of Matthew: Matthew 9:9-13, Mark 2:14-17, Luke 5:27-32

• Jesus spent time with "sinners" in order to minister to them (Matt. 9:9-10).  "Sinners" are all of us.  I should not limit my circle of friends and acquaintances to only those I can relate to, understand, or feel comfortable with.  If I do, I maintain a righteous attitude.     

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

 

Trust God...

During times of uncertainty, fully trust in God's provision.

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus."  -Philippians 4:19

Buh-bye, perfection...

I had the naive idea that, after Baby came along, my life would easily go back into pre-baby order: my home would continue to be spotless and organized, I would have quiet time everyday, get in five good workouts every week, make time for my friends...all while being the perfect wife and mother. 

Hahaha!

My life has recently turned into piles and stacks.  Piles of laundry to be sorted and washed.  Piles of dog poop in the back yard to be picked up.  Piles of purchases to be returned because I was too distracted while shopping to realize what I was buying.  Piles of toys.  Stacks of magazines to go through.  Stacks of unreturned voicemails and emails (Can these be in stacks?).  Stacks of dirty dishes in the sink.  Stacks of books that I intend to read when I just get a little time.

With so many responsibilities around the home, there is literally not enough time in the day for everything unless I fully stop sleeping (Baby is helping me out a little with this one ;) ).  Something has to give.  For Hubby and me, everything other than his work, our family, and our faith is on the chopping block.  The revolving piles and stacks of home will all eventually be dealt with, and new ones will inevitably be formed. 

But that's ok.  I truly believe that no woman can do it all. If she is doing it all, something likely had to be sacrificed to do it.  I'm letting go of thinking I have to do everything...perfectly.  I know that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil. 4:13).  I can do everything.  I will do everything.  Just not perfectly, not all at once, and not before family time.  I won't sacrifice time or attention to my family in order to accomplish the "Martha" tasks at home (see this post for more on this). 

Buh-bye, perfection!  Hello, happy family (and non-perfect house and social life)!

Blue light special...

K-Mart is literally the only store in our town that sells women's clothes (except for our small Exchange).  When military life gives you places like K-Mart to shop, I make the best of it!  Just to get out of the house, Baby and I recently ventured over there for the first time ever.  In addition to lots of great picture frames and flower pots, I found this adorable shirt that I'm so excited to style throughout the spring and summer!

Me (After shopping at K-Mart for the first time ever.): K-Mart is awesome!

Hubby: Do you know what you're saying? (He knows me too well!)

Share...

Thanks to Katy for sharing with us!  Her writing about her struggles through her husband's deployment are so sincere and honest...and many times very witty! :)  Visit her blog for more great posts about how she's handling deployment, kids, and weenie dogs! 

Even Superwoman has Bad Days/Deployment Ramblings

by Katy at The long and short of it

(The post you see here has been edited.  To see her original post, click here.)

I can hear the boom from the range. And it makes me miss him. He doesn’t even shoot ordinance. Just hearing the evidence of the military presence close by and knowing that he isn’t part of that presence close to home makes me want to see him. On days like this, when it would be shaking our house (we live far away from base too) I would always ask him what on earth was going on. He’d laugh, and tell me about the happenings of base. I miss having another adult around. Whenever I hear a helicopter go over the house, I think of the time he (joking people) texted me to come out in the front yard and flash him as they flew over the house. I drug out Gabi (dog) to ‘flash’ him instead. I want to laugh over a text message now, not wait until this is over. Today, I really miss my husband.

And that isn’t to say I don’t miss him every day. Of course I do. But every deployment you will have those days that creep up on you so fast and cut you so hard that any semblance of strength you have gathered just seems to fall apart. And it seems even worse now, with everything being normal, or as much as it can be. The first few weeks were just all about adjusting, then Pipes got sick and I couldn’t collapse then, and now with the day to day, in and out, of him being gone, I am just sick of it. We are hitting the middle, the longest and the worst part for me. This is the point where I start to get mad. Yes, mad. Not at my husband, not at his job, but just simply at deployment. I am upset that I have to plan his child’s second birthday without him. I am mad that he missed Pipes rolling over. I am mad that he is going to miss so many of her milestones. Parents shouldn’t have to watch things like first steps, first words, first bike ride, etc from the grainy film of a cell phone video camera. I hate when my child wakes up with a nightmare, screaming for her daddy, that all she has is his t-shirt and her ‘daddy bear’ to hold instead of him. And with the past 3 nights of poop in the tub or the shower, I really miss him-that was the one thing I couldn’t stand and he would always take care of. And selfishly, I miss my drinking buddy. I miss my steak cooker. I’m even starting to miss the smell of cigars. I miss my best friend.

It feels sometimes like you have to be a superwoman. You have to deal with sick kids, bratty dogs, temper tantrums, broken cars, house issues, everything with a smile on your face and an always happy, always calm, always upbeat demeanor that is really only achievable with happy pills. You worry if you start to show cracks that it will get back to your husband who already has enough to worry about with being in a war zone, or that you will be seen as weak, not capable to handle this challenge. You don’t want to write to your best friend about how unhappy you feel and how the day was so bad you would rather lock yourself in your room and cry then face another one because they need to be focused on the task at hand, not the fact that you are debating on duct taping everything that breathes to the wall for a moment of peace.

You feel so much more connected and disconnected during the deployment. It’s weird. I feel so much more connected in my unyielding love for my husband. I appreciate him so much more and really realize everything he does to take care of us. But at the same time, just like he isn’t going to tell me if he got shot at while flying because he doesn’t want me to worry, I’m not going to tell him that I really want to shut myself in the closet with earplugs when Pipes starts her 2-4 hour crying session because I don’t think I can take it any more. That's the disconnection part. You aren't sharing as much as you would if they were here. But just like he goes on, I go on.

And for the most part, I am perfectly fine, happy & capable of everything that this deployment has thrown at me and more. I'm sure even Superwoman had off days.

No one is superwoman 110% of the time. It is impossible. And yes, I knew exactly what I was getting into when I married my husband-a wonderful relationship with the most perfect man for me. I am in a relationship so amazing that it is worth the separation. .58 of a year. That’s it. That is how long our typical deployments are. We are on our second and have been together a total of 7 years. So 1.16 of those years will have been separated by deployments. I can’t add in the times away for training, because those are just so frequent I can’t keep track. Out of our 7 years together, only 16.5% have been apart with the big D word. That is it. That’s nothing. Add in a couple more & stretch it over a lifetime together and the fraction of time apart is insignificant. I told Pilot when we were talking about getting married that I would rather spend 6-7 months apart at times and have the rest of my days with him than to never spend a single day as his wife.

I have not regretted one day. I have not regretted being alone & pregnant, dealing with a very sick child, emergency vet visits, cleaning poop out of the tub, tackling major meltdowns, mountains of laundry, car troubles, house issues, the days that go on forever and the nights that never last long enough from lack of sleep. At the end of the day I have him. I can deal with all of this because he has faith in me, and more importantly, I have faith in myself. I am woman, hear me roar.

And besides, as another wise wife once told me-to have the highs of the homecoming, you have to have the send off. What's another few months?

If you have a something you would like to share with other military wives, please contact me at semperwifey75@gmail.com.  I would love to feature your ideas, thoughts, pictures, etc. on Semper Wifey!

A study of Jesus' life, Part 3...

"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross! Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." -Philippians 2:5-11.

Matthew 8:1-17; Mark 1:29-34, 40-44; Mark 1:29-34, 40-44; Luke 4:38-41, 5:12-14, 7:1-10

Simple truths:

• Jesus helped those that asked for his help (Matt. 8:2-3, 16).  We should help those that specifically ask for our help. 
• Jesus helped those that didn't ask for his help, yet were still in need (Matt. 8:14-15).  If we see someone struggling, we should help that person if possible.
• Jesus helped those that sent intercessors for help (Matt. 8:6-7, 16; Mark 1:30).  If we become aware of one's struggle through another person, we should help that person if possible (prayer or otherwise).
• Jesus physically touched the outcast (Matt. 8:3).  We should acknowledge those that are outcast in our own society.  Hello, conviction! 
• Jesus was filled with compassion for the helpless (Mark 1:41).  Lord, break my heart for what breaks yours.

Part 1
Part 2