This is the first ever holiday that I'll be spending by myself. And that was by design. I decided to throw myself a good ol'-fashioned pity party for Thanksgiving.
I decided not to go "home" for Thanksgiving because, after 6 airplane trips with my sons over the course of this deployment, I just couldn't stand the thought of traveling any more. Now I will spend the day enjoying the home that God provided for us. The windows will be open, football will be on TV, and the smell of my own personal pumpkin pie baking in the oven will fill our home.
I decided not to go "home" for Thanksgiving because after months of deployment and extensions and "I don't know"s, I just couldn't stand the thought of explaining to lots of people (individually, of course) where Hubby is, what he's doing, when he's coming home, or how sad it is that he's missing the holidays. Instead, I will spend the day playing with my little boys, talking about what we'll do as a family when Hubby comes home, take and email him silly pictures of the family...and eat my pumpkin pie.
I decided not to go "home" for Thanksgiving because I really just needed a break from the reminder that my family is separated, and has been for a long time. No explanations, no questions, no insensitive comments. Now I'll spend the day explaining to Boy 1 why he can't just eat cereal all day, telling him where his yellow choo choo is after he asks me ten times, and removing Boy 1's hair from Boy 2's hand (such an insensitive baby).
I decided not to go "home" for Thanksgiving because I just needed to be alone during this time. I've been following the advice of every military wife ever that says to stay busy during a deployment. So I have kept me and my little boys very busy. And now I'm tired and need time to just sit by myself and feel the emotions of the deployment. Once the boys are snuggly tucked into their beds, there will probably be wine, a sappy movie...and my own personal pumpkin pie.