I frequently catch myself staring at my infant son in awe. In awe of the miraculous creation of life. In awe that I was chosen to be his mother. And then I wonder, why was I chosen? What did I ever do to deserve such a wonderful blessing? There are so many that, in my worldly view, are more deserving. There are so many that have an insatiable desire to be a mother, yet are not. Why me? Why was I so blessed? It's a lot like survivor's remorse. I am so thankful and grateful for my son, but I grieve with those that cannot have or have lost children as I continue to question why these struggles did not happen to me.
But then God's voice speaks to me. He says that I have done absolutely nothing to deserve my wonderful family. It is out of His perfect love that He chose to give to me what I do not deserve. I will turn this blessing back to praise all of my life. Thank you, Jesus!
This is my living lesson in grace.